On the brink of the New Year, we find ourselves in Houston with M's best friend, Ron, and family: Sarah, Mikey (4) and Annaliese (9 months). This is at least the third New Year we have spent with Ron. The first being the one and only time I have ever seen M drink to excess. (That last bottle was homemade wine, after the bottle of whisky... use your imagination on that one!)
I sat with Sarah on the sidewalk with the kids while the men lit fireworks much to the delight and awe of Mikey and G. We've come a long way, I mentioned to her. She agreed.
You see, Ron and M went to college together back in the day. They were two geek boys who found solace in a friendship on a small tightknit campus in small town Texas. After that college, they went their separate ways. They remained in touch.
When I met M, dated casually for two months, then seriously for two months and then got engaged. (A story for another Time.) From Ron's perspective, M had a date and was suddenly engaged. He was suspicious and skeptical. It took time, but I eventually won him over. (I think that first drunken New Year's Eve was a step in the right direction.) Yet, the scene was replayed in reverse when Ron met Sarah. He told us about wanting to go out with Sarah and the next thing we knew, they were getting married. Turnabout is fair play. And our lives continue that path.
I think when M and Ron were in college, they assumed themselves lifelong nerdy bachelors, set for days of fishing, grilling and lots of beer consumption. Since Sarah and I hit it off instantly, that changed the entire game. Sarah and I both wanted families and a settled down life. And you know we women get what we want.
I got pregnant in 2001 with G and Sarah had Mikey in 2002. That year was a huge difference until recently. The boys now get along really well and play like champs.
The girls are only 10 weeks apart, and will be able to relate to each other much sooner than the boys. Annaliese is crawling, and NJ isn't. That development gap will close quickly as they progress in age.
In the olden says, the men would fish or golf and Sarah and I would shop. With four kids, we don't have as much luxury for adult play. (In the time AND money department!) Or, rather Sarah and I don't have much of that. We are generally responsible for Child Management and Entertainment Coordination. We do let the men still have their "boy time" (aka "Male Bonding") because it is important to them. This weekend, for example, they broke out the POWER TOOLS and got their testosterone fix.
(Sarah and I did manage to take the babies out and do a *little* shopping.)
Gotta start the New Year out right, after all.
Sunday, December 31, 2006
Thursday, December 28, 2006
Milestones
Christmas is over. After a frantic shop at the last minute, all immediate presents were wrapped and delivered.
For M, I shopped from the "boring wife" list and bought him much needed clothes.
For G, I shopped from the "cool mom" list and bought him a microscope and a rocket.
For NJ, I shopped from the "is this for me or you?" list and bought her three Groovy Girls. With G, the addiction was Beanie Babies, with NJ it's gonna be Groovy Girls.
I got a snazzy new purse, which turned out just fine. G was determined to get me a purse, but I am ultra-picky on what I will carry day to day. I admit, I was frightened by the prospect. M said he originally picked a bright red alligator purse with lots of bling, mananging to stear him towards something simple and black with buckles. My hubby actually pulled off a "cool husband" gift by enrolling me in a Photography class at the closest community college campus. It was very unexpected, and I can't wait to start!
Of course, as Murphy would have it, M dropped my precious new camera and busted the lens within 30 minutes of me opening my cool Photography lessons. Luckily we bought the "insurance" and just need to find the receipt...
Yesterday, M turned 40. I had wanted to have a big to-do, but that will have to occur after the holidays. Happy birthday old man!
NJ is now sitting up on her own. She's still not very good at it. She's like a drunk old man sitting there swaying and lilting. Blabbering nonsense and drooling. We really need to dig out the video camera and capture this for posterity. Perhaps I will make a first attempt at posting video and share in the fun. We'll see how the times goes.
We'll be heading to Houston to visiting the "extended family" (M's best friend and family) for the New Year. This will be the second New Year we've spent down there with them and it's starting to feel like a tradition. I'm sure I will have stories to report from that excursion. Mucho fun!
For M, I shopped from the "boring wife" list and bought him much needed clothes.
For G, I shopped from the "cool mom" list and bought him a microscope and a rocket.
For NJ, I shopped from the "is this for me or you?" list and bought her three Groovy Girls. With G, the addiction was Beanie Babies, with NJ it's gonna be Groovy Girls.
I got a snazzy new purse, which turned out just fine. G was determined to get me a purse, but I am ultra-picky on what I will carry day to day. I admit, I was frightened by the prospect. M said he originally picked a bright red alligator purse with lots of bling, mananging to stear him towards something simple and black with buckles. My hubby actually pulled off a "cool husband" gift by enrolling me in a Photography class at the closest community college campus. It was very unexpected, and I can't wait to start!
Of course, as Murphy would have it, M dropped my precious new camera and busted the lens within 30 minutes of me opening my cool Photography lessons. Luckily we bought the "insurance" and just need to find the receipt...
Yesterday, M turned 40. I had wanted to have a big to-do, but that will have to occur after the holidays. Happy birthday old man!
NJ is now sitting up on her own. She's still not very good at it. She's like a drunk old man sitting there swaying and lilting. Blabbering nonsense and drooling. We really need to dig out the video camera and capture this for posterity. Perhaps I will make a first attempt at posting video and share in the fun. We'll see how the times goes.
We'll be heading to Houston to visiting the "extended family" (M's best friend and family) for the New Year. This will be the second New Year we've spent down there with them and it's starting to feel like a tradition. I'm sure I will have stories to report from that excursion. Mucho fun!
Tuesday, December 12, 2006
If I Did It
I was watching Miani Ink tonight and find myself still mesmerized by Kat Von D's work. She's so amazing. I thought I had finally decided what tattoo I would get if I ever got brave enough to get it. I would get something I could look at every day for the rest of my life. Something for my Mom. Something relfecting the child in me. The evolution of me into the person I am today. Something very distinctly me.
The Muppets.
Huh?
I was crushed the day Jim Henson died. If ever there was a person who lived a dream, it was Jim Henson. He created something. He had imagination. Lasting impact. A Universal language for children from all over the world. And all over Time.
My Mom said I would watch Sesame Street twice a day, soaking in every skit. I learned to read anything at the tender age of four watching that show. Thirty years later my son would be sucked into that program too.
Sesame Street and later, The Muppet Show (the adult Sesame Street) blurred my lines between reality and imagination and there I still live. I want to believe in talking frogs and neighborhoods that sing and dance together. I want to believe that someday we'll find it, the Rainbow Connection: the lovers, the dreamers and me. Magic. (Have you been half asleep? And have you heard voices? I've heard them calling my name...) And I didn't even have to look that up, folks!
So, I was thinking, a portraiture like Mount Rushmore only: Kermit, Miss Piggy, Animal and Gonzo. (I am still debating Fozzie, I mean he so grinds on my nerves. Love him anyway, don't you?) I want it black and grey and realistic. As realistic as Muppets GET anyhow.
Kermit is the most sensible one, with the most level head. He tries to make it all right. He plays the banjo and sings about his feelings. He sings about how it ain't easy, being us. As knowledgeable as he seems, we know he's still naive in many ways. He makes us want to believe in magic. And doggone it, we *like* him.
Miss Piggy is tough. I mean, it's hard to be a blonde pig. So she's tough. She's ready to march in and take over. Everything is about her. A pig has to stand her ground! She's prissy, over-bearing and WAY overdramatic. Still, she loves with abandon, and despite her short(rib)comings, we find ourselves mesmerized by her. She will be loved, oh yes. (And, we do! We worship the ground she walks on.)
Animal is just that. A character out of control. He's passionate, focused, obsessive. He wears chains for pleasure. He loves music. He's there when you need him.
Gonzo. Gonzo is one of my favorite Muppets. He's so out of place. Not sure who he is, or why he's here. He never quite fits in with the crowd. He has all these chick(en)s who flock to him. The chickens are the ones he can relate to the most. He's gentle, kind and awkwardly charming. Gonzo doesn't know who or why, but he's still willing to take the journey. Willing to reach out and help a friend in need. And in the end, helps himself in the process.
Yeah. That's all me. My insecurities and my loves all wrapped up in one of the greatest metaphors I know. The Muppets.
God bless you, Jim Henson. Thank you.
(Now where on earth do you put a tattoo like that????)
The Muppets.
Huh?
I was crushed the day Jim Henson died. If ever there was a person who lived a dream, it was Jim Henson. He created something. He had imagination. Lasting impact. A Universal language for children from all over the world. And all over Time.
My Mom said I would watch Sesame Street twice a day, soaking in every skit. I learned to read anything at the tender age of four watching that show. Thirty years later my son would be sucked into that program too.
Sesame Street and later, The Muppet Show (the adult Sesame Street) blurred my lines between reality and imagination and there I still live. I want to believe in talking frogs and neighborhoods that sing and dance together. I want to believe that someday we'll find it, the Rainbow Connection: the lovers, the dreamers and me. Magic. (Have you been half asleep? And have you heard voices? I've heard them calling my name...) And I didn't even have to look that up, folks!
So, I was thinking, a portraiture like Mount Rushmore only: Kermit, Miss Piggy, Animal and Gonzo. (I am still debating Fozzie, I mean he so grinds on my nerves. Love him anyway, don't you?) I want it black and grey and realistic. As realistic as Muppets GET anyhow.
Kermit is the most sensible one, with the most level head. He tries to make it all right. He plays the banjo and sings about his feelings. He sings about how it ain't easy, being us. As knowledgeable as he seems, we know he's still naive in many ways. He makes us want to believe in magic. And doggone it, we *like* him.
Miss Piggy is tough. I mean, it's hard to be a blonde pig. So she's tough. She's ready to march in and take over. Everything is about her. A pig has to stand her ground! She's prissy, over-bearing and WAY overdramatic. Still, she loves with abandon, and despite her short(rib)comings, we find ourselves mesmerized by her. She will be loved, oh yes. (And, we do! We worship the ground she walks on.)
Animal is just that. A character out of control. He's passionate, focused, obsessive. He wears chains for pleasure. He loves music. He's there when you need him.
Gonzo. Gonzo is one of my favorite Muppets. He's so out of place. Not sure who he is, or why he's here. He never quite fits in with the crowd. He has all these chick(en)s who flock to him. The chickens are the ones he can relate to the most. He's gentle, kind and awkwardly charming. Gonzo doesn't know who or why, but he's still willing to take the journey. Willing to reach out and help a friend in need. And in the end, helps himself in the process.
Yeah. That's all me. My insecurities and my loves all wrapped up in one of the greatest metaphors I know. The Muppets.
God bless you, Jim Henson. Thank you.
(Now where on earth do you put a tattoo like that????)
Wednesday, December 06, 2006
Because Santa Can...
This is G's Christmas list as it was dictated to me:
1. JET PACK (note to self: too much Mythbusters)
2. MONSTER TRUCK RIDE-ON CAR I SAW ON THE BIG LOTS COMMERCIAL THAT I CAN DRIVE (note to self: start hiding the car keys)
3. SUCKER GLOVES AND SHOES SO I CAN CLIMB BUILDINGS LIKE SPIDERMAN (note to self: ditto number 1)
4. A REAL LIGHTSABER (note to self: call George Lucas)
5. 14 SUCTION CUP GUNS (note to self: lower the glass deductible on the home insurance.)
6. A ROCKET POWERED BICYCLE (note to self: take training wheel off G's bike and then let's see if this is still on the list.)
7. REMOTE CONTROLLED LIGHTNING MCQUEEN WITH ROCKETS (note to self: purchase firecrackers and tape them on the remote controlled Lightning McQueen he already and call it good.)
8. RADIO-CONTROLLED AIRPLANE KIT (note to self: defer to RC building enthusiast husband.)
9. REMOTE CONTROL BOWLING BALL (note to self: I actually like this idea... Kay, there's the million dollar idea!)
10. POCKET FAN (note to self: We *do* live in Texas... aw, heck ditto #1)
11. POCKET HEATER (note to self: Uh, we live in Texas... ditto #1)
12. INVISIBILITY MACHINE (note to self: Don't we all at times...)
Me: "So, can we put something on the list Santa could actually get you, you know like from a store?"
G *blank stare*
G: "But Mom, he's SANTA, he could make me ANYTHING."
Me thinking... 'Dammit, he DOES listen to me'
Me thinking... 'Uh, son, I lied... Santa DOESN'T exist.'
Me thinking... 'Damn you, ADAM SAVAGE and JAMIE HYNEMAN!'
Me, reluctantly: "Well... I can't really argue with that..."
Uh, yeah, that works.
1. JET PACK (note to self: too much Mythbusters)
2. MONSTER TRUCK RIDE-ON CAR I SAW ON THE BIG LOTS COMMERCIAL THAT I CAN DRIVE (note to self: start hiding the car keys)
3. SUCKER GLOVES AND SHOES SO I CAN CLIMB BUILDINGS LIKE SPIDERMAN (note to self: ditto number 1)
4. A REAL LIGHTSABER (note to self: call George Lucas)
5. 14 SUCTION CUP GUNS (note to self: lower the glass deductible on the home insurance.)
6. A ROCKET POWERED BICYCLE (note to self: take training wheel off G's bike and then let's see if this is still on the list.)
7. REMOTE CONTROLLED LIGHTNING MCQUEEN WITH ROCKETS (note to self: purchase firecrackers and tape them on the remote controlled Lightning McQueen he already and call it good.)
8. RADIO-CONTROLLED AIRPLANE KIT (note to self: defer to RC building enthusiast husband.)
9. REMOTE CONTROL BOWLING BALL (note to self: I actually like this idea... Kay, there's the million dollar idea!)
10. POCKET FAN (note to self: We *do* live in Texas... aw, heck ditto #1)
11. POCKET HEATER (note to self: Uh, we live in Texas... ditto #1)
12. INVISIBILITY MACHINE (note to self: Don't we all at times...)
Me: "So, can we put something on the list Santa could actually get you, you know like from a store?"
G *blank stare*
G: "But Mom, he's SANTA, he could make me ANYTHING."
Me thinking... 'Dammit, he DOES listen to me'
Me thinking... 'Uh, son, I lied... Santa DOESN'T exist.'
Me thinking... 'Damn you, ADAM SAVAGE and JAMIE HYNEMAN!'
Me, reluctantly: "Well... I can't really argue with that..."
Uh, yeah, that works.
Monday, December 04, 2006
What I Learned (after) School Today
We bought a new lunchbag for G, since the funk of the old one was getting to the point where it might ruin the appetite of anyone sitting near him. I was tired of dumping full strength cleaner inside to try an eradicate the odor therein.
The new lunchbag has the one criteria that G listed as a "must have" which is a shoulder strap. He loves the shoulder strap. Most vinyl lunchbags don't have one, so I was delighted to find one at Fry's that did. (Perhaps it is a nerd thing?)
The new lunchbag is fairly nerdy, as lunchbags go. It has two sections, just in case you don't want to mix hot items and cold items. Each compartment has silver we-stole-it-from-the-Roswell-crash-site-materials that will keep those hot things hot and cold things cold.
I packed this super nerdy lunchbag with a bologna sandwich (?!?!? - his request), juicebox, pretzels on top and fruit snack, Dots, two Starburst and a TootsiePop.
As per usual, I checked the contents of the lunchbag at the end of the day. As per usual, the drink and sandwich were gone. (Yes, he's finally learned to THROW THINGS AWAY, at least lunch trash anyhow.) A partial bag of pretzels came home. And finally, as per usual, the sweets came home. (That's M's DNA at work, not mine.)
Me, shaking the empty sandwich container: "So, you ate all of your sandwich today?"
G looks at me and then glances away for a brief instant before looking back at me and giving me a non-committal: "Yeah."
Me, delightfully: "That's great!"
G, looks hesitant for a very fleeting moment and then broke out into a large smile.
Congratulations, kid, you have just learned to lie to your mother about what you ate for lunch.
Splendid.
The new lunchbag has the one criteria that G listed as a "must have" which is a shoulder strap. He loves the shoulder strap. Most vinyl lunchbags don't have one, so I was delighted to find one at Fry's that did. (Perhaps it is a nerd thing?)
The new lunchbag is fairly nerdy, as lunchbags go. It has two sections, just in case you don't want to mix hot items and cold items. Each compartment has silver we-stole-it-from-the-Roswell-crash-site-materials that will keep those hot things hot and cold things cold.
I packed this super nerdy lunchbag with a bologna sandwich (?!?!? - his request), juicebox, pretzels on top and fruit snack, Dots, two Starburst and a TootsiePop.
As per usual, I checked the contents of the lunchbag at the end of the day. As per usual, the drink and sandwich were gone. (Yes, he's finally learned to THROW THINGS AWAY, at least lunch trash anyhow.) A partial bag of pretzels came home. And finally, as per usual, the sweets came home. (That's M's DNA at work, not mine.)
Me, shaking the empty sandwich container: "So, you ate all of your sandwich today?"
G looks at me and then glances away for a brief instant before looking back at me and giving me a non-committal: "Yeah."
Me, delightfully: "That's great!"
G, looks hesitant for a very fleeting moment and then broke out into a large smile.
Congratulations, kid, you have just learned to lie to your mother about what you ate for lunch.
Splendid.
God Bless the Child That's Got HIs Own
What would you do for family?
I have always thought of myself as the person who is there when the gauntlet is thrown down. Somebody needs me, I go. (Hence late night trips to CVS.)
But the latest unfolding drama of the extended family has my feathers ruffled. And I don't quite know what to do about it.
My niece quit school when she was 16, because she was tired of people telling her what to do. She wanted something else, and we just couldn't convince her that staying in school was it. So, the summer G was born she came to stay with me for a couple of weeks. We talked about her future and discussed strategies on getting what she wanted in life. At the time we talked about her desire to work with animals and a career as a Vet Tech. Being the older, cool Aunt that I am, I also had a frank discussion with her about sex. I felt that with the options in life before her, getting pregnant was the last thing she needed.
So I told her about how not to get pregnant. I told her things I had learned about fertility, about natural rhythm and such. I advised the use of condoms since she had chosen to be sexually active. But, there was a flaw in my thinking. In telling her exactly how to NOT get pregnant, I also inadvertantly told her *how* to get pregnant. I never thought she would use it to her advantage.
Within two years, she was pregnant. Single, no diploma, no income, no prospects for a responsible future.
The baby's father came with my SIL and family for Christmas that year. Seeing my niece's condition was heartbreaking. She wasn't taking care of herself, her teeth rotting and body rarely washed. The baby's father was in the same boat. When we learned she was pregnant, I didn't think she could take care of a little one. The family talked about options, but my niece would have none of it. She wanted the baby.
The baby came and my niece was pregnant again within two years. The family couldn't make ends meet, living in rundown housing. Literal shacks.
My niece and her boyfriend split up, leaving her with the kids. I was too heartbroken to involve myself. I would listen to reports on her situation from other family. This is her life. She chose it.
Things had started looking up a little for my niece. She had gottan an apartment and medication through a mental health facility for an obsessive compulsive disorder. Then my niece met a guy online in another state. They met a couple of weekends ago and decided to move in together.
So, she left her kids with their daddy's mother and moved to another state. MOVED TO ANOTHER STATE. LEFT THE KIDS. And she says she's coming back for the 16 month old girl after Christmas. She's leaving the three year old with his dad. (Who is homeless and jobless.) WTF???? She's coming back in a month for one of her kids? Does this sound right?
Is it time to get involved? How involved do I want to be? The mother part of me screams to get involved and see those kids are in a better place. But I can't save the world, and since I am not there, I don't know how bad the situation truly is. The family is taking a "wait and see" position. Wait and see when she comes back, if she comes back.
My soul just aches for these children. What should I do?!?!
I have always thought of myself as the person who is there when the gauntlet is thrown down. Somebody needs me, I go. (Hence late night trips to CVS.)
But the latest unfolding drama of the extended family has my feathers ruffled. And I don't quite know what to do about it.
My niece quit school when she was 16, because she was tired of people telling her what to do. She wanted something else, and we just couldn't convince her that staying in school was it. So, the summer G was born she came to stay with me for a couple of weeks. We talked about her future and discussed strategies on getting what she wanted in life. At the time we talked about her desire to work with animals and a career as a Vet Tech. Being the older, cool Aunt that I am, I also had a frank discussion with her about sex. I felt that with the options in life before her, getting pregnant was the last thing she needed.
So I told her about how not to get pregnant. I told her things I had learned about fertility, about natural rhythm and such. I advised the use of condoms since she had chosen to be sexually active. But, there was a flaw in my thinking. In telling her exactly how to NOT get pregnant, I also inadvertantly told her *how* to get pregnant. I never thought she would use it to her advantage.
Within two years, she was pregnant. Single, no diploma, no income, no prospects for a responsible future.
The baby's father came with my SIL and family for Christmas that year. Seeing my niece's condition was heartbreaking. She wasn't taking care of herself, her teeth rotting and body rarely washed. The baby's father was in the same boat. When we learned she was pregnant, I didn't think she could take care of a little one. The family talked about options, but my niece would have none of it. She wanted the baby.
The baby came and my niece was pregnant again within two years. The family couldn't make ends meet, living in rundown housing. Literal shacks.
My niece and her boyfriend split up, leaving her with the kids. I was too heartbroken to involve myself. I would listen to reports on her situation from other family. This is her life. She chose it.
Things had started looking up a little for my niece. She had gottan an apartment and medication through a mental health facility for an obsessive compulsive disorder. Then my niece met a guy online in another state. They met a couple of weekends ago and decided to move in together.
So, she left her kids with their daddy's mother and moved to another state. MOVED TO ANOTHER STATE. LEFT THE KIDS. And she says she's coming back for the 16 month old girl after Christmas. She's leaving the three year old with his dad. (Who is homeless and jobless.) WTF???? She's coming back in a month for one of her kids? Does this sound right?
Is it time to get involved? How involved do I want to be? The mother part of me screams to get involved and see those kids are in a better place. But I can't save the world, and since I am not there, I don't know how bad the situation truly is. The family is taking a "wait and see" position. Wait and see when she comes back, if she comes back.
My soul just aches for these children. What should I do?!?!
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