The Pick Up Artist

So, today's total of my "quick run" into Whole Foods, just to "pick up a few things" was $284.

I am physically incapable of going into a grocery store and spending less than $200. Granted, money goes out of the pocket much faster at Whole Foods, or should we say results in less bags. It didn't feel like that tonight though. Bags and bags of healthy stuff to cook for dinner. (If I ever had time, that is because I WORK. *grumble grumble*) If I had to cook too, we wouldn't eat until 9 pm every night. Or later. (which is, I guess, exactly what we'll have to do.)

Anyhow, so I am checking out of the line at Whole Foods, me and my mountainous basket of greeneries, roughage and free-range chicken. The lady in front of me looks at my mountain and spies hummus. "Oh! I forgot some of that... do you mind?"

"Not at all," I said, as people with small baskets of a few items glared at my vitamin-chocked bounty. (Whole Foods shoppers are so impatient at checkout!)

The lady came back to her basket as I was setting it up on the conveyor belt for her. She thanked me and we chatted some more. She was older than me, slim, no wedding ring, really, quite hot, actually. I instantly thought of my lonely widowed father who is desperate to find someone. And he likes petite women. Outgoing, friendly, petite women. This lady chatted me up, and then the gentleman checking us out. I checked her out. Hm... no ring...

I came THIS close to asking her... "So, I see you don't wear a wedding ring..." "Do you mind if I ask you a terribly unorthodox personal question: are you married?" "Are you dating someone?" "Would you like to?" "I mean, my dad is a widower and he's just getting out on the dating scene." "You seem like such a nice lady, and you shop at Whole Foods which is a plus." "I'd really like to set you up on a blind date, if I could."

I chickened out.

How do you pick up a woman for your dad? Should you even try?

P.S. If you *are* the really hot lady who was in line in front me at the Greenville Whole Foods in Dallas at 7:45 p.m. earlier this evening, wanna date my Dad? He has four really cute grandkids....