The Bad Mother

We took our first foray into the public world today. As a mom with two kids. I think I have now really earned the title of Mom instead of Sidekick of Little Kid. This is just one of the things I am currently learning about the difference between having one child and two children.

With one child, you runs errands and have someone to chat with, someone to explain things to, someone you can reason with to some extent. With two children, "No" simply means "No" and the child just needs to get over it with an explanation. Mom had no time for explanations. Mom is just trying to find the right brand of toilet paper while the baby is crying and the child is finding the coolest thing he can't live another second without on that particular aisle.

So went this foray to the grocery store with G and NJ. It took us 45 minutes just to leave the house. NJ was screaming at the top of her lungs and G just had to find his lightsaber. (Why do we need a lightsaber to go to the grocery store?!?!?) NJ fell asleep in the car, thankfully. She's one of those babies, the car-sleeping kind, unlike G who can't bear to miss a moment of life.

As we hit the fruits and veggies area, I am thinking this won't be too bad. In and out, a slam dunk. NJ woke up in aisle 2. She's shrieking her head off again so I pull her out of the carseat carrier, steering the cart with one hand. G attempts to ride on the outside of the cart at times, and when he's not I am trying not to run over him. Within a few aisles, G gets bored and starts looking for those little trinkets hung on most of the aisles. Trinkets kids love.

G: "Mom, what's this?"
Me: "It's a squishy ball."
G: "I wish I could have this squishy ball."
Me: "You don't need that squishy ball."

We had this same conversation over the orange personal fan with light up blades, the hotwheels cars, toy airplanes, a potato shooter, a Spongebob Squarepants bottle with external straw and a pocket flashlight. Each item became more interesting than the last and each plea more desperate than the last. G was quick to point out the most interesting features of the item and tell me just how useful each item would be to us. "This sized flashlight could fit in my pocket and I could have it with me in case the electricity goes out." *blink, blink* *nod, nod*

"No."

By the frozen food aisle we are all nearly in tears. NJ announced she was done and demanded to know where the hell was The Boob. G was tired of being told "No" and was woefully sucking on the collar of his shirt, eyes red and puffy. I was wondering how long it would take to check out and get it all home and if M was gonna be home to help me unload the whole mess, kids and groceries.

It took $324 and sacked groceries in two baskets to get everyone and everything outside to the car. G climbed into his booster seat as I placed NJ's carrier in the base. I loaded a few groceries and climbed in the car myself. Off I went towards home, frantically calling M and praying he was close to home. He wasn't.

We got home and I convinced G to help me unload the groceries from the car into the kitchen. He obliged, as I promised to give him chore money for doing so. (So he can go back and get that orange personal fan with the light up blades cause it was the LAST ONE!) I brought NJ's carrier in to discover she wasn't strapped in. I had taken her out at the store a couple of times to appease her, but hadn't rebuckled any straps. Dammit. Due to overwhelm, I pulled a Bad Mother a la Britney.

I finished kicking myself mentally about that one. Moms have done these things and learned lessons from them throughout the raising of children. I learned my lesson, to check the buckles on both kids before starting the car. No assumptions.