Rumbly Tummies

I had belly pain again today. I spent most of the day on the couch while the boys did some yard work. On one of their excursions inside for a cool drink, M asked how I was feeling.

Me: "Know how you feel when you get bloated?"
M: "Yeah."
Me: "Multiply that by ten. Have it wiggle at will."
M just looks at me.

As fate would have it, M would be feeling more empathy by the end of the day.

G has been asking for Sali's Cheese Pizza since midweek. M and I agreed that we'd get some Sali's tonight. My appetite was up so I asked for Spaghetti with Meatballs with a side of Meatballs. (I still don't quite know how my son ended up being such a vegetarian idealist.) M ordered himself a calzone, a usual family favorite.

Now, in our family we have all these weird food/diet things going on.
G: No meat, no sauce (ketchup, mustard, etc.) and no tomatoes
M: No corn and no soy cause he's allergic and no dairy cause he's lactose intolerant
Me: Just generally picky, especially about my sauce to noodle/rice ratio and I tend to be lactose intolerant too, actually

Now, look above, no dairy for M but he's ordering a cheese filled calzone. Thank goodness for Lactaid, which he took like a good boy.

But, then I pushed him over the edge: I asked him to scoop me some ice cream. I'm pregnant, ice cream is a natural. No pickles though.

M: "Hey! This is a new carton!"
Me: "Yeah, I bought a new one the other day."
M: "Hm. Think I'll have some for myself then."

There is that moment when you start to open your mouth and say "Um, honey, that's probably not such a good idea." And then your brain says "Don't be a nagging pregnant wife." And you don't say anything. So I didn't say anything. I let him scoop two bowls and hand one to me.

About 30 minutes later, M sticks his head around the corner from the hallway.

M: "I shouldn't have eaten that ice cream."
Me: "No shit Sherlock." (Lactaid only gets you so far.)
M, takes pause: "I'm not getting any sympathy am I?"
Me: "No, not really. Although I almost said something to you since you had dairy at dinner."
M: "Why didn't you say anything?!?!"
Me gives a non-committal shrug.
M takes a moment to scratch his nose with his middle finger.

He walks by a short time later rubbing his tummy and frowning.

Me: "Feeling a little more empathy here?"
M nods: "Yeah, a little."
Me: "Good."

It's so much more satisfying to give your spouse an "I told you so" than to sound like you are being a pregnant nagging bitch. Yes, I am onery that way.