A Parent's Worst Nightmare

Since my mom died, my dad has leaned on me as a source of comfort. I don't mind so much, he's got to be crazy lonely after losing my mom to cancer after a solid 39 year marriage. He's never really been truly on his own, even when he's lived apart from us due to work obligations. He always had home to call. He used to call my mom every day during the workday as well as come home to her every night. It's a hard habit to break. I know, because I am largely the same way, M and I talk at least once during the day (usually much more.) It's a comfort and I love sharing with him.

Dad just broke up with his fiance over the weekend. I really liked her, but apparently they couldn't get on the same page mentally and emotionally. I know he's having a tough time losing two women he loved (really three, if you include his Doberman which he had to put down weeks after my mom passed.) He and his ex-fiance had also gotten to the point of talking once during the day and then an hour or two every evening. (She lives in Houston, so the phone was their lifeline.)

So, tonight, he called and we talked about this and that for a good half hour. Near the end of the conversation, he commented on something on TV. I told him I was watching Miami Ink on TLC. (A show I really enjoy... it even makes my TiVo list!) His reaction was pricelessly my father.

Dad: "Miami Ink? Don't you mean CSI: Miami?"
Me: "No, Miami Ink on TLC, it's about this tattoo shop in Miami and the clients that come in. They do some really great tattoo art. Artistic stuff, not just the biker stuff you think of when you think 'tattoo'."
Dad: "You aren't thinking about getting a tattoo are you?!?"
Me: "I might, I mean, I have been thinking about it. I love the real artistic stuff. I just don't know if I could handle the pain part of it."
Dad: "Yeah but, tattoo don't look so good when you're old. You don't want that. And think about all you will have to do to get rid of it."
Me: "Yeah, I have seen the laser procedures on TV, they don't look like fun." *Thinking, well, if I get a tattoo, why would I make plans for getting it taken off?*
Dad: "But don't they have to use like sandpaper stuff if that doesn't work? I mean, that would be really, really painful."
Me: "I don't know if they use a sandblasting type of technique. They might." *changes subject*

After I hung up the phone, I began thinking, "Why is this such a 'hot button' for my dad?" Just because I am watching a show doesn't mean I am going out to re-enact the premise of the show. Come on, I am an AVID Law & Order fan but I don't see my dad asking me "You aren't going out to kill anyone are you?" And I am also a HUGE HUGE fan of Lost, and he's not inquiring if I am going to fly to Australia and crash land... so why is he worried about a tattoo?

I guess every parent has their threshold for what is considered appropriate for their child. I admit, I already have my mental limits for G's teenagehood. I mean, I have already thought through the tattoo thing. (Okay by me, as long as it isn't on that precious face of his.) And I have already thought about piercings. (Ears, maybe tongue... not sure I can appreciate other other places I can see. Those I can't see are really NOT my business.) If he brings home a boyfriend who he loves romantically, fine. I can live with that. In my head, he's a geeky kid who lives for science experiments. He'll go to MIT on scholarship, get a great paying engineering job and marries the first girl he sleeps with at age 30. More than likely it will be something else, something that blindsides me cause that what kids do best, take you for an expected journey.

I may get a tattoo yet. I know WHO I want to do it, should I decide to embrace an eternal form of art. It is my body after all. And it probably won't be in a place my dad will usually see anyway. Still, I have to laugh because I now know what it is like to have expectations for offspring. To wish certain things for G and hope for the best. I gave him this life, I hope he uses it in a way that suits him best. Even if that includes tattoos, piercings, and alternative sexual lifestyles. Really.