The Graduate

G graduated today. He's officially finished pre-K and moving on to kindergarten next year. He's no longer my baby, he's no longer my toddler, he's no longer my "big boy." He's a school kid. Okay, okay, he has another two and a half months, but I might as well start this mantra now, so I will be accepting by then.

Part of me is so proud of his growth and abilities. Part of me screams "NO! NOT YET! I AM NOT READY TO LET GO!" I am not ready for him to be more in charge of his life. Don't get me wrong, he's got a pretty good head on his shoulders for being five. He has always amazed me with this advanced thoughts. But he is five. This crazy juxtaposition shows up in myriad ways.

He laughs at burps and farts (we call them "poots" in our house.) Then most of the time he will remember his manners and say "excuse me."

He can't write his name well. He's adding, subtracting and multiplying.

He is starting to choose how to dress himself. And not the with the fashion flair I would have hoped.

He has an opinion on the death penalty. An opinion he formed on his own and doesn't mirror my own. (Thanks to my Law & Order obsession.)

He likes to play and to learn. He thinks about cause and effect, but quite often forgets to think when trying to be silly. When we parental types are serious, he gets especially silly. He wants the laugh, he wants to be sure we keep perspective and that in the end it's really okay.

He doesn't care that the house is cluttered. Unless the dishes need to be washed, then he might be willing to help. Especially if "help" means earning back privileges taken away when we was being too silly to think about his actions which have consequences he doesn't like.

He asks me to hold up my feet in the air so he can measure just how big his feet are in comparison to mine. Virtually a toe's length away.

He still worships his parents and wants to be included in everything M and I talk about and do. He wants to feel he's an integral part of this family, which of course he is. I cherish this about my little man. I hope it never changes. Still, I realize it will. He'll start school and grow and learn and become more and more independent. I can't wait to see the man he'll become, actually.

This journey is one day at a time. One laugh at a time. One tear at a time. One school day at a time. I am so proud of my graduate. And I look forward to watching each "graduation" of his life with this same pride and sadness.

I love you G!