Smite Me, Oh Mighty Smiter

I tempted the Universe. Baaaaaad mistake.

A few weeks ago, Janine and I went out to have a lovely ladies lunch. We were chatting about all sorts of things, getting to know each other. During our conversation, I mentioned that M and I have been extremely lucky to be a position where we haven't had to adhere to a strict budget. Heck, we don't even keep a check register anymore. There has always been "enough" to cover what we need. Even "enough" for things we simply want, though not to extravagance.

So, I am munching down on shrimp, feeling good about not feeling broke. Shuddering at the thought of ever going "back there." Oh sure, there was a time when M and I were first together that we had to watch where the pennies went. That was some time ago. When we were still transitioning between studenthood and true responsible adulthood. Now we've got a house, a kid, another kid on the way and two reliable cars. We're there. Responsible adulthood.

And then I opened my mouth and gave cause for the Universe to take me down a notch. Or two. Or five.

It became apparent in the first few days post Janine-conversation that the Universe had formed intentions. We got a letter from the IRS. First round audit. They want five digits.

Crap.

Okay, okay, I will take some blame for that. I did the taxes. I didn't include the 1099 M got that year. My oversight. My fault. But that wasn't the only thing they detected. Apparently there was some miscommunication about cashing out M's 401K, which we needed to live on for 9 months. *sighs* We're still trying to work that out. I have a feeling we'll owe it, and there goes my new bathroom remodels. My kitchen remodel. (At least until we get this thing paid off.)

This lesson may not have been enough.

Today I come home to find that there is a swarm at my back door. A swarm of tiny flying creatures. On the INSIDE of my house. Trying to get out. Termites, I think.

Crap.

If that is what it is, I can also kiss our deck goodbye with probably no replacement in sight. (It is where I suspect they are getting fat and happy.) No new garage siding for awhile. No new spiffy digital camera that I wanted for my birthday/Mother's day. No new laptop on the horizon.

I guess as soon as Twiggy comes into the world, I can start thinking ways to make some money. Become a family contributor again. Right the wrongs. Beg forgiveness of the Universe. (Which ultimately means getting my shit together in some form or fashion.)

Until then, I think that watching Groundhog Day and Bruce Almighty a few times just might be the ticket to a little more laughter around here. It will at least provide some perspective.

I talked to my dad last night. He's so lonely without my mom. He would like to move on, date a little, eventually finding a new partner to share the rest of his life with. It's a painful road to take, but I am proud of him for considering it. We can't bring my mother back. He deserves some happiness. It's been an emotionally difficult few years. A little levity would be good for him.

He was relating a story to me told by a pastor friend of his. The pastor has a friend who has terrible diabetes. This friend hasn't been able to adequately control his blood sugars which has lead to the failure of his kidneys. Now he's on dialysis, daily. If that weren't enough, he just found out yesterday that he had breast cancer (it can happen in men too!) They don't know what stage it is in, or what treatment he will need. The problem with treatment is that the dialysis has weakened him, so some treatment may not be an option. Oh, and it was his wife's 60th birthday yesterday too. She still has her parents in a nurseing home, neither doing well. She is dealing with losing both her parents and her lifelong partner, unsure of who will pass first. All of this puts my life clearly in perspective. What's a few flying bugs and owing the government a chunk o' money at that point? Your health is SO important. And although mine isn't great, it is manageable. I won't die from it.

It's all about perspective. Once you have a clear line on that, all else becomes so much less significant. We all have hard times. It's a part of being human. If life were easy, there just wouldn't be as much point. We don't learn from "constant happy." We learn from the ever changing landscape.

I promise to listen, and not to tempt G-d with my pride. G-d provides the answers and solutions as well as the challenges. I just have to be ready. Be able to recognize the opportunities. And be willing to do something about those opportunities.

So, bring it on, Universe, bring it. I am listening....