The Pick Up Artist

So, today's total of my "quick run" into Whole Foods, just to "pick up a few things" was $284.

I am physically incapable of going into a grocery store and spending less than $200. Granted, money goes out of the pocket much faster at Whole Foods, or should we say results in less bags. It didn't feel like that tonight though. Bags and bags of healthy stuff to cook for dinner. (If I ever had time, that is because I WORK. *grumble grumble*) If I had to cook too, we wouldn't eat until 9 pm every night. Or later. (which is, I guess, exactly what we'll have to do.)

Anyhow, so I am checking out of the line at Whole Foods, me and my mountainous basket of greeneries, roughage and free-range chicken. The lady in front of me looks at my mountain and spies hummus. "Oh! I forgot some of that... do you mind?"

"Not at all," I said, as people with small baskets of a few items glared at my vitamin-chocked bounty. (Whole Foods shoppers are so impatient at checkout!)

The lady came back to her basket as I was setting it up on the conveyor belt for her. She thanked me and we chatted some more. She was older than me, slim, no wedding ring, really, quite hot, actually. I instantly thought of my lonely widowed father who is desperate to find someone. And he likes petite women. Outgoing, friendly, petite women. This lady chatted me up, and then the gentleman checking us out. I checked her out. Hm... no ring...

I came THIS close to asking her... "So, I see you don't wear a wedding ring..." "Do you mind if I ask you a terribly unorthodox personal question: are you married?" "Are you dating someone?" "Would you like to?" "I mean, my dad is a widower and he's just getting out on the dating scene." "You seem like such a nice lady, and you shop at Whole Foods which is a plus." "I'd really like to set you up on a blind date, if I could."

I chickened out.

How do you pick up a woman for your dad? Should you even try?

P.S. If you *are* the really hot lady who was in line in front me at the Greenville Whole Foods in Dallas at 7:45 p.m. earlier this evening, wanna date my Dad? He has four really cute grandkids....

Download of Late

I don't know how people do this. Work, two kids, friends, family, shopping, sleeping, housework, exercise, sex, car repairs, doctor appointments, organizing, bill paying, etc. etc. etc.

HOW?!?!?!?

I liked being a SAHM. We slept until 10 am. We neglected housework in favor of watching Law & Order or having coffee with Kay. We picked up G at school, took him to karate and knew all the kids names and cheered them on. That was a day exhausting enough for me.

Now, I work.

And that's about it folks. I wake up, work, rush to pick up kids, barely think about dinner, probably end up eating something, get kids in bed, unwind a moment, go to bed myself.

So if you are feeling neglected, I am sorry. I haven't figured out how to balance my life yet. Just give me time.

NJ: Is crawling and pulling up on everything. She has this really weird crawl that is a half-walk/half-crawl kind of thing. In other words, she is dying to walk. She'll be there soon enough, too soon for me really.

NJ has added a new word to her list of vocabulary words, bringing that total to seven. She knows and says definitively: "Mama, Dada, Bubba (her brother, and this is quite possibly her favorite word since she is constantly screaming it), dis (this), dat (that), teefs (teeth) and the newest addtion: titty (kitty).

G: Is now sparring in his karate class. This is a HUGE leap from my sensitive boy who feels he needs a band-aide for every little bump and scratch. He's actually punching and kicking other people, and letting them punch and kick him. All with a huge grin on his face. A grin so big, he has a hard time keeping his mouthguard in.

G is proving to be a great big brother. NJ got something off the floor and tried to eat it (typical) and made gagging sounds. I rushed up and pried the object (I don't remember what, probably a water bottle top the kitties like to play hockey with) out of NJ's mouth. I told her "No, no" and "that scares Mama." G said softly, "Yeah, that scares me too." Awwww.

M: He's typical M, trying to keep up with the rest of us. He's been head down in his "airplane porn" (schematics, pictures of airplanes, running complex Excel spreadsheets he's created for airplane design) at any opportunity he can. (Usually late at night.)

And me? Well, there has been work. And feeling extra fibromyalgic crappy. And work. And visiting doctors. Doctor A, the general practictioner decided I had sleep apnea after I told I was falling asleep at work. (very unusual) Doctor B, my neurologist, doesn't know what is wrong with me, but suspects something new and ordered blood work and an MRI. (results still out)

Oh, and I worked.

And there was the "you should never take two new meds at the same time" incident which had me hallucinating in the middle of the night.

And then there was work.

And then there was a "hallelujah" moment, after I took one of the new meds separately and I felt about 7 times better than usual. (I am only on day 5 of that med, I shouldn't celebrate just yet.)

And there was work.

And thank you Kay for taking my children on short notice when one refused to go back to school after his dentist appointment, and then had to be called into action THE SAME DAY because my dear husband didn't watch the clock and left too late to pick up our infant daughter and, suprisingly, I HAD TO WORK, so I couldn't.

I could write more, I am sure, but I have to go to bed. Because, I have to GET UP AND GO TO WORK. (*Did I mention that I have an Aeron chair and get free sodas and candy bars/pretzels/granola bars at work in addition to that wonderful paycheck?*) <= silver lining

Texans Love Their Pets WAAAAY Too Much

Because I am too lazy to learn how to imbed the video into my blog at the moment:

http://www.dfwvetsurgeons.com/treadmill.html

Click on the video link.

Hey, it's my favorite way to exercise!

The Ick Must Go On

It's G's turn for the Supreme Ick. It started at 11 pm last night and made us get up every hour thereafter until M and NJ left this morning.

I slept in G's bed, because it was the easiest thing to do. I also remember that what gave me the most comfort as a kid was having my mom cuddle up next to me and stroke my hair.

I tell you what, that kid throws up like a champ. No fighting it, he just does it matter-of-factly. Telling him so last night seemed of no consolation, as he just rolled his eyes at me.

He feels better already. It took me four days to have a meal, and he's already had a snack and is now sitting down to lunch.

Such resilience!

Emergence from the Ick

I haven't been to work yet. I will start on Monday. I feel this is best since I have yet to eat a meal.

In my state of Supreme Ick, I have done my absolute best to avoid my children the past two days, so as not to pass on the Ick. Both have actually seemed fine with this. I was hoping NJ would put up more of a fuss that she doesn't have her beloved Mama around, but it does give her the opportunity to take a shine to Dada, which he deserves.

I know she misses me though.

As we headed towards bed last night, she was fussing in her crib. I went and scooped her up and took her into our bed. I attempted to breastfeed her, which I didn't think would work after all the dehydration. She seemed satisfied, and the point may not have been hunger anyhow. After she was done she laid and gazed at me lovingly.

Me: "Hi, Mama."

NJ: "Ma.... *contented sigh* MA." And she promptly closed her eyes and fell asleep.

For anyone out there who questions if you could love another child the way you love you first, let me tell you. I love G, FIERCELY. I can't imagine life without him. I would go to the ends of the earth for this kid. And then NJ came along and I wondered. But moments like that, moments of loving gazes passed between us... just show me how much love a person can have. My love for NJ isn't fierce, it is gentle. I can't imagine my life without them.

I am ready now. I am ready to move on and embrace this new job with zest and zeal. My kids are important and they love me. I love them. A job changes none of that. My fears subside.

My New Job

As luck would have it... my first day on the job was spent in bed with a horrid stomach flu. Chills, fever, nothing staying down, everything coming out both ends, severe muscle pain... basically just pure misery.

I still had a fever last night and so here I am at home today. Still not quite up to par, but not completely miserable.

I hope M and the kids don't get this.

I don't know when I will start the job, perhaps tomorrow. *sighs*

The Blow Job

On Sunday, we were undressing the kids for a bath when I noticed something strange.

Me: "Uh, G... why does it look like you rolled in the dirt naked?"

M and I peered at G's naked body. Sure enough, there were dark spots on parts of his little man parts.

M: "It looks like... lint...?"

G, matter of factly: "It's gum."

M and I in unison: "Gum?!?!"

Me: "Um, son, why is there gum on your penis?"

G, shrugs: "I put it there."

Me: "Why did you put gum on your penis?"

G, shrugs and looks at M, who is ducking his head while stiffling a laugh.

Me, brain short-circuiting: "I sure as hell hope you didn't put it back in your mouth after you were done."

G looks at me blankly.

Me: "Oh, get in the tub."

!@#&*?!?!?!?!?

Pillow Talk

NJ, loudly and pointedly: "MAMA."

Me looking at NJ next to me on the bed: "What?"

NJ: "MAMA."

Me: "What?"

NJ: "BOP."

Me: "Oh really?"

NJ: "BOP."

Me: "You don't say?"

NJ: "Bop.Bop.Bup."

Come Monday I won't have a small human being demanding to be in my personal, intimate space for every one of our waking moments together for at least 9 hours of the day.

I don't know whether I should be giddy or bawl my eyes out.

it's a small crime and i got no excuse

I've been overcome with silence lately and it has permeated my life. And that's okay.

It means I haven't blogged. I haven't talked to alot of people. I have lost my way a bit, but slowly I am finding my way back. So many little things have happened, and though I can't explain them all, nor will I try, I will touch on a few of the highlights.


NJ.
NJ has been a whirlwind of evolution. She's ina period of rapid progression and it has been a joy to watch her unfold.

She's getting her top two teeth, which is a total bitch. I think that means it is time to stop breastfeeding. I wish I didn't have to be the one to break it to her, because it isn't gonna be pretty. She loves her momma milk and bonding time. But, with my nipple between two pairs of sharp objects... that's a deal anyone would back out of quickly. Am I right?

NJ is on the verge of crawling. She has, on our bed, but not on the hardwood floors. I don't blame her since they are hard and FREEZING COLD. I am not ready for her mobility, or rather, the house isn't ready for that scenario. Yet, G survived the landmines, and I am sure NJ will too. She has also pulled herself up in her crib to standing position which means it is time to lower the crib. She is going to be a girl on the go. I told everyone that when she was still womb-ridden. And here it is.

NJ is CLEARLY NOT A VEGETARIAN. We have been easing her into cereals and fruit, but she took an opportunity to steal a sausage from my plate last weekend and enjoyed every bite of that dead pig. I found it pretty yummy too, a girl after my own heart. G, you're alone in your thinking. Steak, here we come!

NJ is saying Mama and means it. She also says "Bubba" to G and means it. A bad habit I started. Hopefully she will call him by his given name instead of Bubba all G's life. We'll keep working on that. And working, and working...


Friends.
I still love you all. Each and every one. I just have been in a funk. And in pain. This weather is exaserbating my fibromyalgia. Last weekend I took more than my alotted pain meds and even escalated to the heavy duty stuff. (Which didn't make a dent.) I am sorry for disappearing. I just will occasionally, and it's not personal. I need you all.

I make a public apology to Janine, for missing her birthday. I love you and celebrate you always and I am sorry I failed you on the one day you needed to feel that love and celebration. I hope this weekend will make up for that.

Thank you also to a distant friend who always grounds me. You're a Sure Thing.


Work.
I have actually been on a couple of interviews. Nothing I can be excited about just yet. Next week, though, I have an interview I am getting excited about. Cross your fingers for me. Prayers, good thoughts, all those. I hate to think of leaving NJ, but my pocketbook will thank me.


Photos.
I am taking a photography class. It is a thoughtful present from my wonderful husband. I am really enjoying it and may have found a more active hobby for myself. (Versus "bookworm" which isn't active, but entire absorbing.) My Nikon D-50 is serving me well, although I am already having "camera envy" of Heather at Dooce.com who just got a Canon 5D, in addition to her Nikon D-70. I actually got up at dawn the other morning (on purpose, for the best light) and had a photo shoot of random objects. Here's my favorite shot:

Yes, it's a shoe. I was the crazy lady up at dawn taking pictures of shoes and other miscellaneous objects on my front porch. This shoe is from my favorite new pair of shoes. But, that is a blog for another day.

Next on Law & Order...

On the cellphone with M on the way from the hobby shop to Whole Foods...

M: "We saw something kind of exciting..."
G pipes up from the back seat: "No! Something VERY exciting!"
Me, thinking of all the trouble a hobby store might be: "Oh? What was that?"
M: "Well, we witnessed a shoplifting."
Me: "Did you report it?"
M: "We didn't have to, the store manager was on top of it. Some guy was mad and took off with a remote control helicopter kit."
G: "And they are going to jail!"
M: "Yeah, they had sold a kit to this guy earlier and he was mad that when he crashed it, it broke. He was insisting on getting another one for free. They refused, so he grabbed one and ran. They had the guy's credit card information and license plates."
Me: "That was stupid."
M: "Yup."
G, from the backseat: "Hey Dad! Will this be on one of the crime shows Momma watches?"
M: "Uh, I don't think so, son."

Hey, it could be the next Law & Order spinoff... Law & Order: Petty Theft. A whole show dedicated to crimes solved in five minutes.

G would like it. How about you?

At The Beginning... For At Least The Third Time

On the brink of the New Year, we find ourselves in Houston with M's best friend, Ron, and family: Sarah, Mikey (4) and Annaliese (9 months). This is at least the third New Year we have spent with Ron. The first being the one and only time I have ever seen M drink to excess. (That last bottle was homemade wine, after the bottle of whisky... use your imagination on that one!)

I sat with Sarah on the sidewalk with the kids while the men lit fireworks much to the delight and awe of Mikey and G. We've come a long way, I mentioned to her. She agreed.

You see, Ron and M went to college together back in the day. They were two geek boys who found solace in a friendship on a small tightknit campus in small town Texas. After that college, they went their separate ways. They remained in touch.

When I met M, dated casually for two months, then seriously for two months and then got engaged. (A story for another Time.) From Ron's perspective, M had a date and was suddenly engaged. He was suspicious and skeptical. It took time, but I eventually won him over. (I think that first drunken New Year's Eve was a step in the right direction.) Yet, the scene was replayed in reverse when Ron met Sarah. He told us about wanting to go out with Sarah and the next thing we knew, they were getting married. Turnabout is fair play. And our lives continue that path.

I think when M and Ron were in college, they assumed themselves lifelong nerdy bachelors, set for days of fishing, grilling and lots of beer consumption. Since Sarah and I hit it off instantly, that changed the entire game. Sarah and I both wanted families and a settled down life. And you know we women get what we want.

I got pregnant in 2001 with G and Sarah had Mikey in 2002. That year was a huge difference until recently. The boys now get along really well and play like champs.

The girls are only 10 weeks apart, and will be able to relate to each other much sooner than the boys. Annaliese is crawling, and NJ isn't. That development gap will close quickly as they progress in age.

In the olden says, the men would fish or golf and Sarah and I would shop. With four kids, we don't have as much luxury for adult play. (In the time AND money department!) Or, rather Sarah and I don't have much of that. We are generally responsible for Child Management and Entertainment Coordination. We do let the men still have their "boy time" (aka "Male Bonding") because it is important to them. This weekend, for example, they broke out the POWER TOOLS and got their testosterone fix.

(Sarah and I did manage to take the babies out and do a *little* shopping.)

Gotta start the New Year out right, after all.

Milestones

Christmas is over. After a frantic shop at the last minute, all immediate presents were wrapped and delivered.

For M, I shopped from the "boring wife" list and bought him much needed clothes.

For G, I shopped from the "cool mom" list and bought him a microscope and a rocket.

For NJ, I shopped from the "is this for me or you?" list and bought her three Groovy Girls. With G, the addiction was Beanie Babies, with NJ it's gonna be Groovy Girls.

I got a snazzy new purse, which turned out just fine. G was determined to get me a purse, but I am ultra-picky on what I will carry day to day. I admit, I was frightened by the prospect. M said he originally picked a bright red alligator purse with lots of bling, mananging to stear him towards something simple and black with buckles. My hubby actually pulled off a "cool husband" gift by enrolling me in a Photography class at the closest community college campus. It was very unexpected, and I can't wait to start!

Of course, as Murphy would have it, M dropped my precious new camera and busted the lens within 30 minutes of me opening my cool Photography lessons. Luckily we bought the "insurance" and just need to find the receipt...

Yesterday, M turned 40. I had wanted to have a big to-do, but that will have to occur after the holidays. Happy birthday old man!

NJ is now sitting up on her own. She's still not very good at it. She's like a drunk old man sitting there swaying and lilting. Blabbering nonsense and drooling. We really need to dig out the video camera and capture this for posterity. Perhaps I will make a first attempt at posting video and share in the fun. We'll see how the times goes.

We'll be heading to Houston to visiting the "extended family" (M's best friend and family) for the New Year. This will be the second New Year we've spent down there with them and it's starting to feel like a tradition. I'm sure I will have stories to report from that excursion. Mucho fun!

If I Did It

I was watching Miani Ink tonight and find myself still mesmerized by Kat Von D's work. She's so amazing. I thought I had finally decided what tattoo I would get if I ever got brave enough to get it. I would get something I could look at every day for the rest of my life. Something for my Mom. Something relfecting the child in me. The evolution of me into the person I am today. Something very distinctly me.

The Muppets.

Huh?

I was crushed the day Jim Henson died. If ever there was a person who lived a dream, it was Jim Henson. He created something. He had imagination. Lasting impact. A Universal language for children from all over the world. And all over Time.

My Mom said I would watch Sesame Street twice a day, soaking in every skit. I learned to read anything at the tender age of four watching that show. Thirty years later my son would be sucked into that program too.

Sesame Street and later, The Muppet Show (the adult Sesame Street) blurred my lines between reality and imagination and there I still live. I want to believe in talking frogs and neighborhoods that sing and dance together. I want to believe that someday we'll find it, the Rainbow Connection: the lovers, the dreamers and me. Magic. (Have you been half asleep? And have you heard voices? I've heard them calling my name...) And I didn't even have to look that up, folks!

So, I was thinking, a portraiture like Mount Rushmore only: Kermit, Miss Piggy, Animal and Gonzo. (I am still debating Fozzie, I mean he so grinds on my nerves. Love him anyway, don't you?) I want it black and grey and realistic. As realistic as Muppets GET anyhow.

Kermit is the most sensible one, with the most level head. He tries to make it all right. He plays the banjo and sings about his feelings. He sings about how it ain't easy, being us. As knowledgeable as he seems, we know he's still naive in many ways. He makes us want to believe in magic. And doggone it, we *like* him.

Miss Piggy is tough. I mean, it's hard to be a blonde pig. So she's tough. She's ready to march in and take over. Everything is about her. A pig has to stand her ground! She's prissy, over-bearing and WAY overdramatic. Still, she loves with abandon, and despite her short(rib)comings, we find ourselves mesmerized by her. She will be loved, oh yes. (And, we do! We worship the ground she walks on.)

Animal is just that. A character out of control. He's passionate, focused, obsessive. He wears chains for pleasure. He loves music. He's there when you need him.

Gonzo. Gonzo is one of my favorite Muppets. He's so out of place. Not sure who he is, or why he's here. He never quite fits in with the crowd. He has all these chick(en)s who flock to him. The chickens are the ones he can relate to the most. He's gentle, kind and awkwardly charming. Gonzo doesn't know who or why, but he's still willing to take the journey. Willing to reach out and help a friend in need. And in the end, helps himself in the process.

Yeah. That's all me. My insecurities and my loves all wrapped up in one of the greatest metaphors I know. The Muppets.

God bless you, Jim Henson. Thank you.

(Now where on earth do you put a tattoo like that????)

Because Santa Can...

This is G's Christmas list as it was dictated to me:

1. JET PACK (note to self: too much Mythbusters)
2. MONSTER TRUCK RIDE-ON CAR I SAW ON THE BIG LOTS COMMERCIAL THAT I CAN DRIVE (note to self: start hiding the car keys)
3. SUCKER GLOVES AND SHOES SO I CAN CLIMB BUILDINGS LIKE SPIDERMAN (note to self: ditto number 1)
4. A REAL LIGHTSABER (note to self: call George Lucas)
5. 14 SUCTION CUP GUNS (note to self: lower the glass deductible on the home insurance.)
6. A ROCKET POWERED BICYCLE (note to self: take training wheel off G's bike and then let's see if this is still on the list.)
7. REMOTE CONTROLLED LIGHTNING MCQUEEN WITH ROCKETS (note to self: purchase firecrackers and tape them on the remote controlled Lightning McQueen he already and call it good.)
8. RADIO-CONTROLLED AIRPLANE KIT (note to self: defer to RC building enthusiast husband.)
9. REMOTE CONTROL BOWLING BALL (note to self: I actually like this idea... Kay, there's the million dollar idea!)
10. POCKET FAN (note to self: We *do* live in Texas... aw, heck ditto #1)
11. POCKET HEATER (note to self: Uh, we live in Texas... ditto #1)
12. INVISIBILITY MACHINE (note to self: Don't we all at times...)

Me: "So, can we put something on the list Santa could actually get you, you know like from a store?"
G *blank stare*
G: "But Mom, he's SANTA, he could make me ANYTHING."
Me thinking... 'Dammit, he DOES listen to me'
Me thinking... 'Uh, son, I lied... Santa DOESN'T exist.'
Me thinking... 'Damn you, ADAM SAVAGE and JAMIE HYNEMAN!'
Me, reluctantly: "Well... I can't really argue with that..."

Uh, yeah, that works.

What I Learned (after) School Today

We bought a new lunchbag for G, since the funk of the old one was getting to the point where it might ruin the appetite of anyone sitting near him. I was tired of dumping full strength cleaner inside to try an eradicate the odor therein.

The new lunchbag has the one criteria that G listed as a "must have" which is a shoulder strap. He loves the shoulder strap. Most vinyl lunchbags don't have one, so I was delighted to find one at Fry's that did. (Perhaps it is a nerd thing?)

The new lunchbag is fairly nerdy, as lunchbags go. It has two sections, just in case you don't want to mix hot items and cold items. Each compartment has silver we-stole-it-from-the-Roswell-crash-site-materials that will keep those hot things hot and cold things cold.

I packed this super nerdy lunchbag with a bologna sandwich (?!?!? - his request), juicebox, pretzels on top and fruit snack, Dots, two Starburst and a TootsiePop.

As per usual, I checked the contents of the lunchbag at the end of the day. As per usual, the drink and sandwich were gone. (Yes, he's finally learned to THROW THINGS AWAY, at least lunch trash anyhow.) A partial bag of pretzels came home. And finally, as per usual, the sweets came home. (That's M's DNA at work, not mine.)

Me, shaking the empty sandwich container: "So, you ate all of your sandwich today?"
G looks at me and then glances away for a brief instant before looking back at me and giving me a non-committal: "Yeah."
Me, delightfully: "That's great!"
G, looks hesitant for a very fleeting moment and then broke out into a large smile.

Congratulations, kid, you have just learned to lie to your mother about what you ate for lunch.

Splendid.

God Bless the Child That's Got HIs Own

What would you do for family?

I have always thought of myself as the person who is there when the gauntlet is thrown down. Somebody needs me, I go. (Hence late night trips to CVS.)

But the latest unfolding drama of the extended family has my feathers ruffled. And I don't quite know what to do about it.

My niece quit school when she was 16, because she was tired of people telling her what to do. She wanted something else, and we just couldn't convince her that staying in school was it. So, the summer G was born she came to stay with me for a couple of weeks. We talked about her future and discussed strategies on getting what she wanted in life. At the time we talked about her desire to work with animals and a career as a Vet Tech. Being the older, cool Aunt that I am, I also had a frank discussion with her about sex. I felt that with the options in life before her, getting pregnant was the last thing she needed.

So I told her about how not to get pregnant. I told her things I had learned about fertility, about natural rhythm and such. I advised the use of condoms since she had chosen to be sexually active. But, there was a flaw in my thinking. In telling her exactly how to NOT get pregnant, I also inadvertantly told her *how* to get pregnant. I never thought she would use it to her advantage.

Within two years, she was pregnant. Single, no diploma, no income, no prospects for a responsible future.

The baby's father came with my SIL and family for Christmas that year. Seeing my niece's condition was heartbreaking. She wasn't taking care of herself, her teeth rotting and body rarely washed. The baby's father was in the same boat. When we learned she was pregnant, I didn't think she could take care of a little one. The family talked about options, but my niece would have none of it. She wanted the baby.

The baby came and my niece was pregnant again within two years. The family couldn't make ends meet, living in rundown housing. Literal shacks.

My niece and her boyfriend split up, leaving her with the kids. I was too heartbroken to involve myself. I would listen to reports on her situation from other family. This is her life. She chose it.

Things had started looking up a little for my niece. She had gottan an apartment and medication through a mental health facility for an obsessive compulsive disorder. Then my niece met a guy online in another state. They met a couple of weekends ago and decided to move in together.

So, she left her kids with their daddy's mother and moved to another state. MOVED TO ANOTHER STATE. LEFT THE KIDS. And she says she's coming back for the 16 month old girl after Christmas. She's leaving the three year old with his dad. (Who is homeless and jobless.) WTF???? She's coming back in a month for one of her kids? Does this sound right?

Is it time to get involved? How involved do I want to be? The mother part of me screams to get involved and see those kids are in a better place. But I can't save the world, and since I am not there, I don't know how bad the situation truly is. The family is taking a "wait and see" position. Wait and see when she comes back, if she comes back.

My soul just aches for these children. What should I do?!?!

Long Live the King

We Texans are currently fuh-reaking out because we are having snow and sleet. (With only a little accumulation!) We're huge weenies when it comes to winter. Schools are shutting down because it will probably ice over later. We don't know how to drive on ice, in fact, knowing how to drive period is negotiable. (Hence the PANIC!!!)

Yesterday the high was 80 degrees, and by bedtime it was in the high 40's. Only in Texas.

Last night, G went to bed in his room as per usual. I knew he wouldn't stay there. Call it mother's intuition. NJ wasn't interested in sleeping alone either. So, by 2 am there were four people bodies in our Queen sized Tempurpedic bed. M was taking up his usual space on his stomach, G next to him on his side, and NJ next to G. Me? I had a few inches to try to perform my balancing act. We have NJ's co-sleeper next to the bed, so I propped my pillow across the space like a bridge. My shoulders hung in the space between the bed and co-sleeper. Very uncomfortable.

I told M if we keep this up for the winter, a king Tempurpedic should be in our future. That *might* actually hold the four humans and four cats, don't you think?

Working Fool

I got up at 6 a.m. this morning. It wasn't the girlie wanting her morning num-nums... it was my alarm. I showered, shaved and PUT ON MAKE-UP. (close yer mouths)

Then I went into the office.

I actually got a hit off of Monster for a contract gig doin' one of the things I do best. Surfin' the 'Net. Granting, this surfing is for something very specific and business-like. Still, I love it. Perhaps this is my calling in life...

A Real Family Shares Cooties

Abs hosting our Thanksgiving meal at her place today and did it with flair. We went semi-traditional and went ham instead of turkey, but went with many of the usual accompaniments. Of course, there had to be pie. Cherry and pumpkin.

G wanted to try some with trepidation. Two small slices were cut and placed on a plate for his consumption.

G: "Where's my fork?"
Me, handing him my spare fork: "Here's one."
G, eyes me wearily: "Are your germs on this?"
Me, takes the fork back and looks at it, licks it and hands it back to G.
Me: "There are now."
The entire table: Mother-in-law, Sister-in-law, Hubby M and my Dad looked at me gaping mouths.
G is watching the shocked faces and not the licked fork.
Me: "It's fine. What's the problem? We swap germs when we kiss."
G: "But we didn't kiss. You just xerbited me."
Me: "Yes and there are now my germs all over your neck and probably crawling up into your ears."
G: "CAN WE NOT TALK ABOUT THIS?!?!?"

Giving Thanks

I've tried to write since my last entry, but the words just won't flow. But I need to write this, because things haven't been all that great lately in many aspects of my life. It is truly time to give some thanks. To reflect. To surrender.

Firstly, I am thankful to my mom for fighting cancer for twenty years. She passed away a year ago on the 15th of this month. Mom went to great lengths to say here in this life and reap much of what she sowed. She saw her daughters graduate school, get married, have grandchildren... so much more. I am thankful for her determination and sheer commitment to living. And, as strange as this may sound, I am thankful for that cancer. Cancer changed the course of my family's lives, much for better for all of us. My mom and I even discussed this in those last days.

Next, I am thankful for my husband. We've been through alot these past couple of years and he's never waivered in his love and devotion. And he's given me two great children, whom I am also thankful for. You three are my everything. I love you so much!

I am thankful for my other family. Those that I am related to: my Dad and my sister. Family is important to me. We've been able to help each other through this year in both subtle and overt ways. My aunts have been wonderful too, and it has been so nice to be more in touch. I am thankful for my sister's husband who has been there for her and her two beautiful daughters. I am thankful for my sister-in-law who is one of my soulmates in this life. I am lucky to have found such a true family with my in-laws.

I am thankful for my other other family. Those who I choose as family because, even though I love my friends, they aren't just friends. My life is what it is because those friends are there. There are friends who I have had since childhood, one of them halfway around the world. Friends who I have lived with, studied with, shared stories with and grew up with in many, many ways. Friends who I have met in work, and in play. Friends I have met once or twice but know because of this venue and friends I have never met. You're in my life, all of you friends, because I fell in love with who you are. I think the world of you.

Lastly, I am thankful for me. That's tough to remember, at times. But I am. I am thankful for this life and this experience and, even on the worst days, I wouldn't trade it. This life is a gift. I am blessed.